Last Thursday, me and a couple of my girls took the morning to go see the movie Girls Trip. It was an excellently hilarious movie about a group of friends who took a trip to New Orleans. While I’m not a fan of group trips, I could relate to the chaos that often ensues when you bring 4 different women together. I could also relate to the inner chaos that each woman on the cast struggled with – the struggle to be understood, the struggle to control one’s actions, the struggle to balance children and personal life, and the struggle to maintain a perfect image with the reality of an imperfect life.
My biggest take away from the movie is that we simply can not have it all.
Shortly into the movie, it was revealed that one of the characters who “Had it All” was dealing with a cheating husband. As much as we would love to have a great husband, a fabulous career, 2.5 kids, 6-figure jobs, flawless hair, and friends that are #squadgoals, we just can’t. Somewhere, we are going to have to compromise. Some things we are going to have to give up or do without in order to get something else.
As an “up and coming” travel blogger, I often struggle with comparing myself with others who seem to have it all. I look at bloggers with tens and hundreds of thousands of followers, paid collaborations, traveling all over the world for free. “Man, must be nice!” I think. I look at what they have that I want, not taking into account the things I would need to give up to get what they have. I listed to a podcast by fellow influencer Frorealdoe yesterday. She was interviewing one of my favorite travel bloggers Gloria Atanmo. It was a fun interview, but what resonated with me is that we really can’t have it all. As I listened to “Glo” talking about her life of living “on the road,” traveling from country to country, I realized the sacrifice that would be required to live that life. A sacrifice I wasn’t willing to make.
I realized I’d rather be me. Followers or no followers. Free trips or not. I like my life how it is. I’d rather not have all of that.
I think that we need to take time to re-evaluate what it really means to US to “have it all.” We’ve got to stop letting society tell us what we need to have in order to have a good life.
Crafty Chica pulled up my blog yesterday and told me I needed to change the name. “Traveling Kay LJ is too hard to remember,” she told me. “Change the name of the blog,” she suggested. It was something that I’d considered many times, but her words were confirmation. She Flies Solo… The name I’d given to my new travel “movement” (Actually had someone call it that yesterday!!! OMG).
I’m about so much more than travel. I’m a woman who wears a lot of hats. A woman who travels, a woman who empowers, an entrepreneur, a mother, a daughter, a friend. A multi-faceted woman who “goes against the grain” and travels alone by choice. An imperfect woman, who doesn’t have it all, and doesn’t need it all…. And so are you… And neither do you.
Can you relate to the pressure of trying to live up to the image of having it all. I’d love to hear your comments.