I often wonder when I will get married. If I will get married. If I will ever find the one. I hate to admit that it consumes quite a bit of my thoughts when my mind wanders throughout the day. On the way to my internship yesterday, I was asking God, yet again, “Why am I single?” I felt Him respond, “because I need you to be.”
There is a reason you are where you are.
There are qualities you possess that make you relatable to someone. Relatability is what God uses to minister to others. It’s very difficult for others to take you seriously when you haven’t been there. I think back to conversations I’ve had with random people, friends, and even my students. Conversations with single people. People that – once they learn that I am single as well – feel that I get where they are coming from. What’s worse than going on a horrible date, and having a married person tell you, “It must be really hard to date these days.” (or some other unnecessary, non-consoling comment that married people tend to inadvertently make). I’m sure they have good intentions, they just can’t relate. You have no idea what I am going through. Just like I have no idea what it feels like to have a spouse that is irking me. Can’t relate.
We each have in us things that the Lord can use to connect with another person, but He can only use them if we stop trying to change them.
Whether it be marital status, a past experience, a talent, a habit, an insecurity. All of your unique traits melded together put you in a position to do the Lord’s work. Too often we are so busy being bothered by our position that we are unable to use it in the manner that God wants us to. We try to promote ourselves to place that we don’t belong. We try to manipulate situations to go the way we want them to. We hide our flaws and pretend that things don’t bother us when they do. We act happy when we are sad and hurting. All in the name of saving face. What if we took down the mask? What if we allowed people to see how human we are – that we make mistakes, that we doubt, that our lives are not perfect?
Joyce Meyer said it best when she said, “God never promised that everything would be good. He promised that everything would work together for our good.”
To the married person, the single person, the divorcee, the widow. You have a testimony that makes someone else feel understood.
To the former-addict, the felon, the abandoned, the abused, the overlooked. You possess the key that releases someone else’s shame, while simultaneously releasing your own. Your story of resilience and overcoming the odds is the glimpse of hope that someone needs to persevere.
Let God put everything together. Let God use your current situation – flaws and all – to create something magnificent and powerful. Let’s not waste another moment wishing for more when we have yet to make use of all that we have.
Know that there is so much purpose in your position. So next time, I find myself wandering, “When will I get married?” I will ask God, “What can I do for You as a single?”
What position does God have you in that you would like to change? Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter and share your stories. You never know who needs to hear exactly what you have to say!