Why Nice People Finish Last

“Nice guys finish last!” “Nice women finish last!” Do you say it? Do you believe it? I think that it is true in some instances. As I look around at the “nice” people who are finishing last, I see a few common themes:

You don’t believe in yourself: You say things like “nice people always finish last.” This is defeatist talk. Proverbs 18:21 tells us “The tongue has the power of life and death.” If you say something too often, you begin to believe it, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. Let’s stop making this proclamation and start believing that there are great things in store for our life, that no one can stop us from what is ours, and that we are going to come out on top.

You have the wrong associations: Sometimes you are in last place because you are hanging out with losers. If the only people surrounding you are doing worse than you are, how are you going to improve? A runner can’t get faster by running with people that are slower than her. You’ve got to surround yourself with winners. People that are going places. People that will uplift you and push you to be a better person.

You’re too nice: Yes, I believe a person can be too nice. We should be nice to people, but people should not be able to walk all over us. Be discerning. Pray and seek out the path you should take and the decisions that you should make. Stop giving to people that are only here to take from you and leave you feeling depleted and worthless. There comes a point when we have to take responsibility for the way people treat us.

You’re actually not that nice: Some people are simply delusional. Nothing worse than hearing a person who is the exact opposite of nice declaring that “nice people finish last.” I often want to ask, “how do you know?” and “who are you referring to?” But I pick my battles, because I have been guilty of saying this only to self-reflect and see that some of my behaviors are not the nicest. Make sure you are actually treating people the way you expect for others to treat you.

You’re not actually losing: My favorite quote is, “It only looks like the devil is winning.” Perhaps you aren’t losing at all. Perhaps you are exactly where you need to be at this very time. Maybe the season you want to be in is not a season that you are ready for. Nobody pulls out their winter coat in the summer time. So why are you trying to move into a place that you may or may not be comfortable in? Trust the process. You will get there. Take the time to enjoy life right where you are.

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