All night long on my bed
I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him.
I will get up now and go about the city,
through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him but did not find him.
The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
“Have you seen the one my heart loves?”
Scarcely had I passed them
when I found the one my heart loves.
I held him and would not let him go
till I had brought him to my mother’s house,
to the room of the one who conceived me.
Daughters, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
I’ve been that girl. Searching for the one my heart loves. Going out in hopes to find him, joining online dating sites, positioning myself to “run across” the one. Song of Solomon 3 tells us not to arouse or awaken love until it so desires. I now choose not to search. I choose to enjoy life alone knowing that when my time for love comes, the one my heart loves will come to me.
Nothing makes you so keenly aware of your singleness than Valentine’s Day.
My previous Valentine’s post highlighted ideas for people celebrating Valentine’s Day in the traditional sense: as a couple. Many of you are like me: Successfully Single. So what should we do? Boycott the day? Treat it just like any other day? Wallow in misery? I object to all of these. I absolutely LOVE Valentine’s Day. This will be my first Valentine’s in years without anyone to celebrate it with, but I won’t allow that minor detail to keep me from enjoying the day of love.
So what is a successful single to do alone on Valentine’s Day? There’s tons of things!
- Go out to eat: Who says you can’t go out to eat alone? Dress up, spray on some smell-good, and go on out to that restaurant you’ve been dying to try! Trust me, NO ONE is worried about you. And even if they are, imagine how pitiful one’s Valentine’s Day must be to be worried about what some stranger is doing. Restaurants that have bars make solo-dining less awkward. If you like Asian food, sushi bars are the way to go! You can order up your food and eat right there with your back turned to the people who aren’t paying any attention to you anyway. Plus solo-diners always get the BEST service (and sometimes freebies!) If you absolutely can’t stomach the idea of eating alone, call your order in to go. You’ll still be able to enjoy a great meal.
- Hang out with your other successfully single friends: (Or those who are unsuccessfully in a relationship)… I kid I kid.. But really you’re not the only one without a date. Call up a friend or two and make it a girl’s/guy’s night doing something you enjoy.
- Go to the spa: There’s never a bad time to go to the spa, and there’s not much a great massage can not fix. Go all out for yourself. Nobody should appreciate you as much as you do.
- Go on a staycation: The sound of room service knocking on my door ready to roll in a tray of freshly prepared food to my bedside is music to my ears! A staycation at a nice hotel with some room service will give you a break from reality. You’ll return home feeling relaxed and refreshed!
- Cook yourself a nice meal: I know you may think, but I can’t cook! A good recipe and a little elbow grease can go a long way. And what better time to test out those cooking skills than when you will be the only one eating it. Set the scene with some candles and some sparkling cider (or wine for the drinkers), and enjoy your own company.
- Visit a nursing home. Wanna know what’s worse than being alone on Valentine’s Day? Being alone EVERY single day, and not being able to get out and about. There are many people in nursing homes who have no one that comes to visit them regularly. These people will be THRILLED to see you. Want to really make their day? Take your children with you.
- Explore your city. I guarantee there are a lot of things going on on a Sunday. Go to a Museum, go to the park, go shopping. I had a BLAST exploring some of the many things Houston has to offer. Read more here.
- Start a tradition with your kiddos. Love should not be limited to romantic love. Do something special with your kids to remind them of this. It doesn’t have to be anything major. I always remember my father bought us chocolates every Valentine’s Day when we were growing up. So whether it’s a gift, taking them out to dinner, doing an activity they enjoy, or staying in to watch a movie, your children will remember that you took out time for them on Valentine’s Day!
- Catch up on a TV show. Netflix and chill, for one?
- Read a book. Reading is becoming a lost art, but there are a ton of great books out there. I’m an old fashioned kind of girl, so I enjoy an actual book as opposed to reading it on an e-reader. But whatever suits you is fine with me. Pick out a book that catches your interest. Recommendation? Boundaries in Dating. GREAT book.
- Hire a maid service to clean the house. I can’t be the only one who hates to clean. A great weekend to me is NOT having to clean up the mess I have created the week before.
- Get some crawfish. I suppose this could be in with going out to eat or cooking, but umm.. not really. It’s crawfish season! Grab some spicy mud bugs and a cold beverage, and eat til your heart is content.
- Plan a trip. Pretty self-explanatory. Nothing wrong with traveling alone. Some of my BEST vacations have been solo-trips. Read more here. I’ve met some great people and created some unforgettable memories! That place you’ve been wanting to go, but you’ve been waiting to find someone to go with you? Take yourself (or take me. :)!
- Buy yourself something. It can be anything. I like flowers and cutesy stuff, so I treated myself to an adorable teddy bear I found for $5 at Walgreens (who knew these things were so cheap?). I bought it as a gentle reminder to love myself at all times. In the quest for love, it’s easy to forget to do that.
I’m not sure what I’ll be doing when Valentine’s Day arrives in a couple of weeks, but I am definitely looking forward to the day! What are some things that you would add to the list for other successful singles?