I preface this by saying, these things only apply to those of us who are truly looking for love. If you are just looking for a good time, read no further.
American Society has conditioned us to think that quantity will bring us quality when it comes to dating. The game of numbers if you will. They shun people who “foolishly” put all of their eggs into one basket. “Don’t cut off your options until you’re married,” some will say. I disagree. I feel that if one is truly looking for love, they should only date one person at a time. And here’s why….
You can’t really get to know a person if you are dating multiple people:
OK, maybe *I* just can’t really get to know a person. I’ve gotten much more forgetful as I’ve gotten older. I get people mixed up. “Oh, sorry, I thought you said you had a sister that went to LSU… that must have been one of the other 12 guys I’m talking to.” Oops. Embarrassing. I mean really, how can you fully invest the time into getting to know if this is “the one” if you have multiple other people to keep up with. Sure, you will establish some surface level connections, but you can’t really develop anything beyond the surface.
The person you are interested in may move on to someone else:
When dating, you usually have that one person that you are interested in more than the others. The problem with dating multiple people is that that person doesn’t know that you are more interested in him/her than you are in everyone else. You can say it all you want, but one can never truly believe that a person is interested in the possibility of something more if they are entertaining several people. And who wants to wait around for a possibility anyway? It’s much easier just to move on to someone who is willing to fully invest.
Old habits are hard to break:
So, say you do get to know someone on a deeper level. They don’t move on to anyone else, and you two decide that you want to make it official. It is VERY, VERY hard to go from talking to 5 people a day (or even two) down to just one. You get bored. You are used to having continuous conversation throughout the day. If one person is busy, you’ve become accustomed to just calling the next person to talk to or go out with. You should practice the habit of monogamy so that when you get in a monogamous relationship, it won’t be foreign.
People don’t just go away:
Just like there was that person that you were interested in more than the others, there is a person who had YOU at the top of their list. And this person will not be happy that you have dumped them to move on to someone else. Yes, as adults, we should just move on, but most times it doesn’t happen that way. They want answers and explanations: “Why did you choose THAT person?” “I thought things were going well with us?” “I thought you said you didn’t want a relationship right now!” And on and on and on. Save yourself the trouble, and don’t date people if you don’t see a future with them. It’s not fair to them, and it’s not helping you out any in the long run.
Do yourself a favor. Invest your time and energy into people that matter, even if that means focusing solely on yourself.